“What do you know about God that you didn’t know a year ago?”
I struggled to answer Rob DesCotes’ question in the New Year’s edition of the Imago Dei newsletter. That saddened me. Since then, longing to know God better, I’ve been asking each week, “What do I know about God now that I didn’t know last week?” Sometimes the answer surprises me. More often it is a deepening of something I thought I knew but now I’m sure I know, or something my head knew but now my heart knows. As in a marriage of many years, the new things you learn about your spouse are subtle. But I still want to know them.
This week? It was the simple insight that came as I sat with a friend who helps me listen. I was wondering how to move ahead in a difficult situation, and I said, “I want to do it as long as I’m sure God is leading me into it. It’s too big for me to handle on my own.”
She looked me in the eye and spoke with the clarity and simple confidence that I’ve learned means, “You can count on this”: “Jesus will be with you in it whether he has led you into it or not.”
Ahhh. Yes. Here I can rest.
I still want to know whether Jesus is leading me into something or not. But now my heart knows this: I can step out of his will. I can’t step out of his presence.
No matter how I’ve gotten myself into something, or why, he will be with me in it, ready to love me in whatever way I can receive.